By Craig Andresen

Having been bombarded, for more than two years, with countless stories of the hikers held prisoner in Iran, and having had quite enough of the political correctness so invasive in our daily lexicon, I have decided that somebody needs to say SOMETHING which is politically DIRECT about this whole situation. So, here we go. An open letter to the hikers.

Dear Hikers,

We Are All Iranian Prisoners Now

What the hell is wrong with you people? Do you come by your stupidity genetically or is it a byproduct of your ideology? Perhaps both. The Iranians said you were spies but that can’t possibly be true. You’re far too brain-dead to be spies. I’m going to go out on a limb here and take a wild shot at it. You’re all liberals aren’t you?

You went HIKING. Hiking is good. Hiking doesn’t leave a carbon footprint regardless of the amount of fossil fuel you burned to GET to your starting point. You shouldn’t be allowed to walk around the block without supervision. You could have gone for a walk in the park, or hiked on a trail in the mountains, but NOOOOOOOOO.

YOU MORONS!! You decided to go hiking along the border between Iran and Iraq. What exactly did you THINK was going to happen? Did you think you were going to meet a bunch of Iraqi or Iranian hippy freaks and exchange wildflowers and maybe share some weed?

You didn’t go over there for some noble purpose like building a school or to provide medical services or even to help rebuild a road or a bridge. You went ˜hiking” in a war zone next to a country that hates us. Seriously, what the hell? You managed to wander from the Iraqi side of the border over to the Iranian side. What? No map? No GPS? No common sense? What? Did the Iranians not know the words to Kum ba yah?

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