We all have dirty little secrets that we don’t share with very may people, sometimes with nobody! These can be as simple as a midnight run to get junk food at the 24 hour quick stop or they can be more sinister like stealing girls panties from the dryer in there dorm. Ok that one is a bit to weird for even me! My point here is that we all have are dirty little secrets that we keep locked away like it is nobodies business and we like it that way don’t we? Sometimes the need to tell someone can help you break away from an unhealthy secret, that is what I’m hoping for here, just maybe if I’m up front and personal I can get past mine and move on. I not only have one but two secrets that only my closest friends know about me and I’m going to tell you what they are in a moment so just keep reading k.

How Did I Get Here?

I use to have a very poor lifestyle, I partied and played and ate whatever I wanted and in turn I got fat and I’m not talking about just a few pounds over weight. At one time not to long ago I weighted well over 300+ pounds and hated myself, life sucked and I knew I had to do something about it, but what was a fat guy to do! That is when it happened after a long weekend of drinking and partying I got sick and for two days I was very sick to the point that someone loaded my fat ass up and took me to the E.R. and that is when my first secret was reveled to me and it took my by surprise!

The nurse came up to me why I was laying there and ask me if I knew I was diabetic? My blood sugar was around 650 and my kidneys were failing and if I hadn’t come in I would have been dead by morning! That hit me a little hard as it would have anyone but I survived and there you have my first secret, I’m a full blown insulin dependent diabetic. So they taught my how to shoot up insulin and kicked me out to figure it out for myself and in the past 15 years that is pretty much what I have done. I knew I had to loose the weight in order to get myself under control but I never told anyone about it, only my closest friends know this.

Now For My Dirty Secret!

This one is a bit harder to understand, I’m very active and I eat great food in fact I’m in the best shape of my life! So this one won’t make much scene to you! After I go mountain biking or trail running and even skiing I come home and smoke cigarettes! I know what you are thinking ‘what the hell are you thinking” and I have told myself the same thing for years. I go all day playing on the trails for hours and never think of having a smoke but after I get home it just happens!

For years I have seemed to balance my active lifestyle with something so bad that it comes with a warning. Well that balance has shifted now, I can’t do the things I like to do and keep smoking, I have to quit smoking today!

Day 1 Smoke Free!

I had my last smoke just before midnight on the 21 of July 2010 and it has been 24 hours now, first day wasn’t so bad. I picked up some nicotine gum and signed up for a online program to try and help me through this. I plan on posting everyday how I’m doing and will tell the truth If I cheat on myself. What I need is anyone to leave me comments of hope and encouragement or anything that can help me get through this.

Wish me luck – Bill Messick

Related Articles:

• Day 3 Faster Run Time
• Day 2 Smoke Free Me

4 Responses to “My Dirty Little Secrets Reveled”